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Joke of the Day
"Two peanuts walk into a bar... One of them was a salted."
Next Joke
"Just burnt my Hawaiian pizza... Guess I should've put it on aloha temperature."
"What do you call a confident chicken? Cocky"
"If you never say ""FUCK IT"" before posting a tweet then you definitely couldn't have tweeted this..."
"Did John Knott mind being the only cited author on his group's research paper? Knott, et al."
"How many redditors does it take to change a light bulb.? Three. One to screw it in and the second to take credit for it. And the other to repeat it."
"What kind of coat does a vampire wear in the rain? A wet one."
"Tornado warnings outside. Good thing I got drunk enough to fight a tornado or else we'd be screwed."
"My GF bragged about the cat sleeping next to her I told her ""Yes, he seems to be attracted to the overwhelming aroma of fish"""
"I can finally set my tivo to record ""the biggest loser""... ...kept trying to record the jets game"