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Joke of the Day

"It's weird when I'm sitting on the couch and my cat walks by and looks at me but keeps walking cause he's living his own life."

"What's the definition of eternity? Four blondes waiting at a four way stop."

"If we're all Gods children... ...what's so special about Jesus?"

"People thought I was crazy when I said I was going to cure blindness. But they'll see. They'll all see!"

"I bought my Nan a stairlift the other day... She said it drives her up the fucking wall."

"What is Brown and Runny? ...Usain Bolt"

"My mother always told me to not worry about my health. It will go away eventually."

"Playing dead in the supermarket to avoid having a conversation with someone you know attracts more attention than I anticipated...go figure."

"What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework ? A firequaker !"

"Photoshop is turning 25 years old this week. Actually, it's 35 but just looks 25."