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Joke of the Day

"why yes i studied sports medicine at the university of phoenix. *puts stethoscope on basketball, nods*"

"This yogurt is so cultured, I can only eat it when I'm listening to Beethoven."

"Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he got his gas bill."

"My son was twice as hungry as me. So I only ate a one Na fish sandwich."

"What do you call a man with no shins? Tony"

"Career day: Hi kids I'm Bills Dad and I work at the local morgue. Who wants to pet a dead body?"""

"Fun fact: The hip word ""chillax"" is a combination of the slang term ""chill"" and the more traditional word ""laxative."""

"What do you call a male camel toe? A moose knuckle"

"What does the lord say when the intern messes up? God demi"

"A lady cut me off... The other day a lady cut me off who was texting while driving. I got so mad at her I pulled up beside her and threw my beer can at her."