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Joke of the Day

"While on vacation the desk clerk at the London hotel told me I'd only get the key to my room if I presented him with 250 pounds... ... so I introduced him to my wife."

"What did the fat math teacher say after a large Thanksgiving dinner? (-1)/8! Edit: I clearly don't know how to math."

"So, I hear they're naming a new paint after you! It's called Whore Red. Not very Bright, but it's cheap and spreads really easily!!!"

"There was a black-out in my city last night. The police said stay in doors until they shot him."

"My friend has the Koran on DVD... I asked him if he could burn me a copy."

"did you the one about the girl who lost a cucumber I her vagina? two weeks later out popped a pickle"

"Let's play a game: If you were stranded forever on a desert island and had only one book of Russian literature, how would you kill yourself?"

"What do you call it when you torture corn to death? Macabre!"

"I hope I never have to produce an alibi...cause eating salsa in bed with my cat every night would never hold up in court."

"Hello 911. ""He's back what do I do?"" Brent? ""Yes"" It's the just the mailman remember ""Ok, sorry."" Bye ""Wait, he put something in my mailbo"