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Joke of the Day

"While on vacation the desk clerk at the London hotel told me I'd only get the key to my room if I presented him with 250 pounds... ... so I introduced him to my wife."

"My sister would make a great politician... ...she avoids directly answering questions and always leads the blame to someone else, whether she has proof or not."

"Your name must be Coca Cola, because you're so-da-licious"

"What do you say to comfort the grammar nazi? There, their, they're..."

"What do you suppose broke this window Mr. Holmes? It's a limb entry, my dear Watson!"

"You got me... If I asked you to have sex with me, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one?"

"I tell all my ex girlfriends I just want them to be happy (happy was a golden retriever I saw get hit by a train in 1997)"

"If pizza places cold called people's homes and asked if they wanted to order a pizza, I guarantee you their business would triple."

"Secretly killing birds and making It look like a suicide - Windexter."

"If you dress up as a banana and eat a banana Is that canabananalism?"