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Joke of the Day

"If ur late to an appt, just tell them u had another one, but were on time to that one. That way they associate you with punctuality"

"Just goes to show, you're never to old to try new things. My nan starting running when she was 65, she's 71 now and we've no idea where she is."

"Baby Shirt Idea: Did 9 months in solitary confinement"

"How to play the Michael Brown drinking game Just stand there and take the 8 shots."

"What is even bigger than an elephant ? A giant !"

"It was a rainy day, she had just left him and was walking back home... ""Nobody will find him there"" She thought as she walked."

"The grass is always greener, but usually because it's synthetic AstroTurf."

"Why does the ocean roar? You would too if you had crabs on your bottom and oysters in your bed."

"So many things have made me laugh today but not one of them was funny."

"Why can't British people go to North Korea? Nobody at the ticket counter knows what ""north career"" means"