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Joke of the Day

"Soliciting a blowjob is illegal. Soliciting a blowjob is illegal, but betting a whore $50 she can't swallow your cum isn't."

"I was just accosted by a small child riding shotgun in a shopping cart yelling ""why you ain't got no babies?""I bet my father in law paid her"

"I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces down by the pond today"

"Why did the duck go into Rehab? Because he was a quack head"

"DOCTOR: [holding $5 bill] what's this for? ME: it's a tip DOCTOR: okay but you're still dying ME: [hands him another $5 bill]"

"You're not allowed to say ""long story short"" after talking for 30 minutes."

"You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. "

"Did you know that 69 is now 96? With this worsening economy, it costs a lot more to eat out."

"If there is a Wessex, Sussex, and Essex why isn't there a northern county similarly named? Cause then there would be Nosex!"

"What do you call a woman with no clitoris? It doesn't matter, she's not going to come."