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Joke of the Day

"If Trump gets elected this November I'm going to jack off Because I might as well cum if I'm getting fucked."

"3849. Buying picture frame. 3850. Changing batteries in flashlight. 3851. The X-Games. 3852. Scotch tape. (List of most exciting things.)"

"What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old? Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out a window"

"Two peanuts were walking down a dark alley... one was a-salted"

"People who say 45 minutes past the hour are the same ones who have kids 89 and 63 months old"

"What part of New York has the most feminists? Manhatin'"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Asa ! Asa who ! Asa-int amongst men !"

"What did the ocean say? Nothing, he just waved."

"Everything happens for a reason. The reason is a chaotic intersection of chance and the laws of physics."

"[clown cleaning shower] MRS CLOWN: Don't forget to remove the hair from the drain. [clown just keeps pulling long multi-coloured hair out]"