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Joke of the Day

"Dear North Carolina, if you let guys marry each other, you'll have more available women in your family to date!"

"How are genders like the twin towers? There used to be two of them but now everyone gets offended if you talk about it."

"What did the dope dealer say after he got a colonic? I don't got shit."

"How do you know If your girlfriend is Canadian? Look at her beaver."

"What's the best way to get your guitar player to turn down the volume? Give him the sheet music."

"Hubs: Kids are still asleep! Know what that means? Me: We have to be quick! *Runs to the hidden box of Cocoa Puffs and pours 2 big bowls*"

"There was a blackout in my neighborhood last night The police told us to stay inside until they shot him"

"I threw out a sheep, a drum and a snake from an airplane Ba-dum-tss"

"America and Britain are in a race... to see who can fuck up their country more. Britain is winning at the moment but America sure has a Trump card."

"I can't hear out of my ear... It's really EAR-itating"