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Joke of the Day
"One direction splitting up? My daughter just announced to me she is in d-Niall :-)"
Next Joke
"I thought the girl at my bus stop thought I was sweet but apparently that's not what she meant by ""un-savory"""
"my wife tried to tell me that I'm in denial... So I told her to go back to school and learn geography because I'm standing nowhere near a river in Egypt"
"What do you call a dinosaur with an English degree? Thesaurus."
"I could tell it was a Monopoly board from the word Go"
"My wife complained that I never lifted a finger to help around the house. So I lifted a finger. Apparently, it was the wrong one."
"JOB INTERVIEWER: so, what was your last job? DR. FRANKENSTEIN: bodybuilding"
"People forget that Hitler also invented those subscription cards that fall out of magazines."
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you."
"Around 70% of the earth is made up of water, and the other 30% is filled with news articles about George Zimmerman"