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Joke of the Day
"What is 6.9? A really great thing ruined by a period."
Next Joke
"Date: Do u have any allergies? Me: I'm allergic to raisins. They make me cry D: That's an unusual reaction M: They could've been wine!!"
"It's 100% legal to give cops the finger. But remember, it's also apparently 100% legal for them to shoot and kill you."
"Standup comedian It gets up in public, at public places; thus making me awkward, and the passersby laugh. My dick is a great standup comedian."
"I know people say, ""Don't bring a knife to a gun fight,"" but if there's an unsliced cake at this fight, we're all going to look like idiots."
"7yo: ""Who's singing this?"" Me: ""Franz Ferdinand."" 7yo: ""But, he died in 1914."" Me:"
"You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take -Jenny Mccarthy"
"My girlfriend said I should be louder in the bedroom. But apparently she didn't give me permission to snore."
"How does an economist open a can of beans? ""Assume you have a can opener..."""
"I've thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year's resolution. 3840x2160"