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Joke of the Day
"Q:What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo? A:('A jump rope')"""
Next Joke
"As a white man I can't say the word Ni.... But I can say ""thank you for the warning officer.."""
"With Twitter, who needs imaginary friends?"
"My son donates his hair to charity & people are all, ""Sweet."" I donate the people in my basement's & people are all, ""We have a warrant!"""
"What would romantic living dead movie be called? Zombaes"
"If Sesame Street were real, and I went there, and I saw those things, I would shit my pants."
"Bae: come over. Me: I'm doing the podcast. Bae: come over. Me: nah, I'm doin the podcast. Bae: my parents are out. Me: they can download it."
"I was alone, depressed and suicidal around Christmas time and decided to call the suicide prevention hotline ""Sorry but all of our employees are happily spending Christmas with their loving families"""
"Posted a picture of my privates on Facebook... I guess you could call it Ballsy"
"wife's facebook post: so proud of 8, he's trying so hard in school! mama loves you! wife's text to me: he failed gym. gym!! i need a drink"