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Joke of the Day

"Cop: do you know why I pulled u over? Me: yeah, I was going like 120 back there Cop:.... Me:.. Cop: sir, your tailamp is out Me:..."

"My son is fashion conscious and likes Disney show tunes. I think we need to have THE TALK. No son of mine is gonna raid my lingerie closet."

"Being a black jew was tough Finally you get freed from slavery, only to be told ""work makes you free""."

"How many WASPs does it take to change a lightbulb? One."

"Monica Lewinsky says she's not voting for Hillary if she runs because... ...the last time a Clinton was in the White House it left a bad taste in her mouth!"

"A Dumb blonde is pulled over by a cop... He says: You were going 95km/h. The dumb blonde responds: but I haven't been driving for an hour."

"Her: What's your biggest weakness? Me: My honesty. Her: I don't think that's a weakness. Me: I don't give a fcuk what you think."

"What does the neckbeard mosquito say to the female mosquito? M'laria"

"launch my dead body into space but not too far away. if my calculations are correct, i will win the public pool splash contest in 2076"

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? ISIS. Definitely ISIS."