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Joke of the Day

"Cop: do you know why I pulled u over? Me: yeah, I was going like 120 back there Cop:.... Me:.. Cop: sir, your tailamp is out Me:..."

"I will not believe a thing posted on this entire website tomorrow (today for some of you in the world) Fucking April 1ST."

"Dyslexic, but I have a cunning stunt."

"My friend David lost his ID yesterday... We just call him Dav now"

"You really have to question the judgment of people who have children on purpose."

"A man walks into a bar and says OUCH!"

"How do you drown a polar bear? Cut a hole in the ice. Put a line of peas around the hole. When the polar bear takes a pea, kick him in the ice hole."

"Why did Cruz pick Carly Fiorina as his running mate? To lay off his campaign staff."

"Insensitive Building a treehouse seems insensitive. It's like killing something and having his friend hold it."

"So, I went out and had a few drinks.. I decided to take a bus home. So this morning I awoke and I don't know what to do with the bus parked in my driveway."