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Joke of the Day

"Saw that the ""So I went on r/news today.."" post got removed so I reposted here for you. [removed]"

"""Sir, are you interested in the satellite radio upgrade?"" ...uhhhh, for driving in space?"

"Thanks for nothing autocorrect, I'm never gonna get chicks being a ""homeless romantic""."

"The Patriots winning a Super Bowl without cheating"

"I think the best thing about being a cyclops is no one would notice if you had a lazy eye."

"Sally Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock (Reader says who's there) Not Sally."

"Begin this thing doesn't or end Yoda's (lost) last words."

"What's blue and smells like red painting? Blue painting"

"How do you get a Criminal to stop running? Play the national anthem"

"A blind man walks into a store... he then starts knocking things off the shelves. An employee asks; - ""Is there anything I can help you with?"" - ""No thanks, I'm just looking around."""