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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between bullets and people? Bullets don't miss Harambe. Rest in Peace brother."

"How was the roman empire cut in half? With a pair of caesars Edit: fixed"

"My wife told me she used to be a lesbian once ""You mean I turned you?"" I asked with a grin. ""No...."" she replied wistfully. ""I just ran out of money."""

"it is hard to b scared of a angry person once u realize that they just wanted to tie a knot but insted of using string they used their arms"

"Hey girl, if I could change up the alphabet, I'd replace U with a more interesting character. Since we're on anti-pickup lines today."

"What do you get when you take the pee out of poops oops"

"Every time I pick up my phone after dropping it, I feel like one of those worried girls in movies who just took a pregnancy test."

"What's with people thinking white people shoot up schools? I'm white and I have only shot up like 2 schools."

"Why was being a soprano a requirement to becoming a pirate? It made it easier to deal with high C's"

"My penis was in the Guinness book of world records. Then the librarian told me to take it out. hehehehehe"