193719

Joke of the Day

"George Carlin:""Why do laxatives always say 'Works gently, overnight'?"" ""What if I want something that works violently right now?"""

"a strain of weed that permanently erases your memories and reduces your brainwaves to the carefree infantile state of a newborn baby"

"I once had sex for an hour and 45 seconds. Thanks daylight savings."

"A duck goes into a drug store He says gimee some chap stick put it on my bill"

"Why did Adrian Peterson sign with the Minnesota Twins? Because they needed a switch-hitter."

"Why do they call them brrr-itos when they're not even cold?"

"What you should do if you have a rash Choose your doctor and medication carefully, you don't want to make any rash decisions."

"I have decided to start a strict vegetarian diet Starting tonight I will enjoy a nice thick steak. Cows are the most delicious of the strict vegetarians"

"So I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley She said ""Tenpin?"" I said, ""No, it's a permanent job."" - Tim Vine, King of the one liners."

"I got 99 tabs open but my work ain't one."