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Joke of the Day
"Maintaining an erection: It's never been my strong point."
Next Joke
"""Waaaah, my boyfriend is a jerk, but I'm gonna tell twitter instead of him because I have the communication skills of a sea anemone."""
"I told my doctor my penis was burning... To which he replied, ""That just means someone is talking about it."""
"Tombstones should just say how old the person was. I don't wanna walk around doing grave math."
"If your PMSing wife hands you lemons, you damn well better make lemonade or else she'll stab you & squeeze lemon juice into the open wound."
"When punching a toddler, how hard is too hard? Calm down... I'm not talking about MY kid. I know how hard to punch her. I'm her mother."
"I think I'm about to be molested by an alpaca... Today some guy on the street kept screaming at me to ""be ready for the alpaca lips"""
"Life is like a box of chocolates.... It doesn't last too long for fat people."
"Why are hipsters the oldest known form of life? They were on the Earth before it was cool."
"Pepper spray does not taste like pepper."