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Joke of the Day

"What did the mexican say to the Highlander? There can only be Juan."

"Dat test though Almost gets a 100% on a test, a STD test....."

"What do you get when you mix lemonade and ice tea? A dead golfer..."

"Romeo: Your cheeks are like petals. Juliet: Really? Romeo: Yes bicycle pedals."

"I like to take my girlfriend to restaurants so she can complain I call it ""whining and dining"""

"Me: I'm too full to eat anymore. Food: Are you sure. Me: No."

"[dog paws your leg when you stop stroking his head] 1st time: ""aww cuuuute"" 2nd time: ""ha okay"" 3rd time: ""i am trapped in a nightmare"""

"I've been tweeting for 10 hours straight...and 3 hours gay."

"The Minnesota Twins have just signed Adrian Peterson to a 3 year deal. More details to come. All we know is Adrian will be a switch hitter."

"How do you know you're kissing a french horn player? They try to stick their hand up your butt."