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Joke of the Day
"Box wine? I prefer the term Cardboardeaux."
Next Joke
"I have the Emergency Alert Warning sound set as the ringtone for when my wife calls."
"My dad always said, ""I before E expect after C"". Society taught me otherwise."
"It has been reported that listening to the band Queen links to giving you autism due to the high Mercury content."
"I went to the doctor today and he told me I have a big dick and a small heart... He also told me I was dyslexic."
"If the waitress doesn't have a visible tattoo the restaurant is usually too expensive for me."
"/r/badplumbing is leaking"
"I knew I'do have to close the podiatry clinic I had opened in Paris. I smelled defeat."
"They won't be able to serve bottled beer this year at the baseball stadium. They lost the opener."
"ME: *sighs* yep, story of my life EDITOR: please stop saying that every time you hand me a draft of your autobiography"