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Joke of the Day

"Marriage advice for dummies: Five worst things you can do5 Abandon4 Lie3 Cheat2 Abuse1 Forget to start the dishwasher"

"Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread."

"When you ""assume"" you make an ""ass"" out of ""Ume,"" my Hawaiian buddy, who hates assumptions."

"To all the Republicans who might be mad if Trump loses... remember.... Hiter wasn't elected either! jk Trump2016!"

"I really like passive aggressive people I'm not at all bothered by the fact they are giant cunts one and all."

"An Irish walks past a bar. ..."

"Was hit by a rental car earlier today. It still Hertz."

"Facebook: Making relationship's look better then they actually are since 2005"

"[England 1320] ""Dearest fair lady, thou art the finest in the land. Allow me to gaze upon thee soon. My love grows."" *waits 6 months* ""K"""

"Your mama is so poor She voted for Bernie Sanders! Bern!"