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Joke of the Day

"To all the Republicans who might be mad if Trump loses... remember.... Hiter wasn't elected either! jk Trump2016!"

"I would never tell a rape joke It would be too forced"

"There's currently a thin shell of space, hurtling through the solar system at 67,000 mile per hour, in which boners must be blurred. ""Japan"""

"I'm married to a nut I guess you could say I'm fucking nuts."

"Sometimes I think I want to have a baby but then I wake up the next morning still holding my beer and I think maybe not"

"What does a black man do after sex? 15 years."

"This is your brain: [hippo standing in a field] This is your brain on twitter: [100s of people surround the hippo patting it rhythmically]"

"Just sprayed Febreeze in my bathroom.. Now it smells like shitrus."

"Lawyers and computers have both been proliferating since 1970. Unfortunately, lawyers, unlike computers, have not gotten twice as smart and half as expensive every 18 months."

"What do you call a prison inmate with a skin disease? A Leper-Con"