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Joke of the Day

"6 yo: *yells* Mom! I'm on level 18!!!! Me: *peeks in room* PAGE 18, princess. You're reading. 6 yo: Oh"

"Dad: I had a son once Stranger: what happened to him? D: he touched the thermostat Kid: dad, I'm like right here D: you hear something?"

"My penis is so big, it goes from A to Z! As long as we're talking about my keyboard."

"If you're looking for a good place to buy a Blackberry, I'd suggest 2006."

"I opened the window... And influenza."

"Zebras must be tough to eat. You have to sort through all that light meat and dark meat. Props to this guy at Disney"

"How can you tell if a gay person is dead? Check pulse"

"My Asian girlfriend says that a small dick is no problem, although I'd prefer if she didn't had one."

"I just went to the bathroom without my phone. I had to read shampoo bottles like it was 1999."

"I'm trying to be more fit these days, so now I walk inside the store to buy my donuts instead of using the drive-thru."