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Joke of the Day
"I hate when I put my open beer down and forget where I put it and then I find like 7 open beers."
Next Joke
"Every few weeks I login to Facebook, update my birthday to the current day, and those idiots wish me happy birthday every time."
"I bet Apple's new iPhone will be a huge 6s. (Context: https://www.reddit.com/r/apple/comments/3hgadu/apple_iphone_6s_launching_on_september_18/)"
"My cat just told me to stop talking during the movie. Maybe homemade psychedelics were a bad idea"
"Why Wasn't Jesus born in Italy? They couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin."
"I love Summer. Two weeks of doing absolutely f*ck all. And, once my boss gets back, I get to go on holiday as well."
"There should be a warning label on those straw cowgirl hats middle-aged women wear on vacation that reads: ""Will cause freckled cleavage."""
"Sex is like Pizza I haven't had any in a while."
"The comedian stopped at the fabric store on his way to a comedy gig. He was looking for new material."
"What do you call a single use phone book? The YOLO pages."