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Joke of the Day
"Internet Explorer"
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"Getting laid for me is like getting ketchup out of a bottle easy if i have a knife"
"""I'll have the Anti-sleeping Prescription"" ""Sir, those are kids"" ""Gimme two"""
"Did you hear about the wooden car with the wooden engine and wooden wheels? It wooden move."
"Forget waterboarding, just put a cold hand on my belly and I'll tell you anything you want to know."
"Son: what will happen when I die? Me [lowers newspaper]: there'll be a lot of left over sandwiches & then we'll turn your room into a gym"
"Apparently mime on mime violence is a real problem, you just don't hear about it."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Andrew ! Andrew who ? Andrew all her money out of the bank !"
"Someone told me today that I'm pretentious... Moi!?!?"
"You know youre fifty when your chiropractor sends you birthday cards."