111157

Joke of the Day

"Today I picked up a hitchhiker. Dropped him off at Crystal Lake. Seemed nice but didn't say a word. Was wearing a hockey mask. Oh, these wacky kids and their crazy fashions!"

"Me: when I grow up I'm going to be an astronaut. 5 year old daughter: you're already grown up. You'll be dead soon."

"Why do people who aren't able to celebrate Father's Day... ...get all of February instead?"

"I always found the movie ""The Exorcist"" confusing... It made my head spin."

"One of the perks of being a woman is that no one can ever surprise you with a kid years later and tell you you're the mom."

"Why did the blonde stare at the Ford? It said Focus."

"My niece told me this joke and I thought it was great! Knock knock! -Who's there? -The interrupting Cow -The interr..... -MOOOOO!"

"Q: Why did the rabbit eat lunch under the sink? A: He found a leek there."

"When I was in 6th grade, I asked a girl out with a note and she wrote back ""Maybe :)"" so idk man I might have plans tonight."

"My brother, Max, asked me to come up with a nickname for him. Now we just call him Maxx."