193259
Joke of the Day
"Why is Santa's sack so large? He only comes once a year."
Next Joke
"Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar because you're so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and hold on, are those nuts?"
"I didnt know how to tell this guy at Home Depot his fly was down... and he didnt know how to say thanks when I tried to help him zip it up."
"Wife: ""I'm tired of you endlessly misquoting Arnold Schwarzenegger films. I'm leaving you."" Me: ""You'll be back."""
"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No ideer."
"my girlfriend texted me saying she was going to go out shopping for an hour sent at: 2001-11-06 3:35 PM"
"Arnold Schwarzenegger has been talking about Carly Fiorina for years: ""Carly Fiorina needs water,"" ""Carly Fiorina is a great state,"" blah blah blah."
"Nothing sucks worse... than a shitty vacuum cleaner"
"What do you call an American white guy in a Christmas sweater? A Christmas cracker"
"What do you call a snobby criminal going down stairs? A condescending con descending"