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Joke of the Day
"The celebrity couple name for Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton is Clump."
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"""I have a dream that my children will live in a nation... not judged by the color of their skin, but by their follower count on Twitter."""
"How many Brazilians does it take to change a lightbulb? One Brazillion."
"Notre Dame beat Navy yesterday. If Navy beats ISIS, does that help Notre Dame's strength of schedule?"
"Pigeons always look like they're jamming out to an invisible iPod."
"What did the russian say before Putin penetrated his asshole? *russian accent* Put it in Putin!"
"""Here's your cup of Joe"" - Joe at the sperm bank"
"Coffee. Not my cup of tea."
"So there's an innuendo competition on in town next weekend..... I was thinking of entering my sister."
"Just had an awful drive home. I was forced to ride side by side with another car for 5 minutes. We managed to avoid eye contact, but still."