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Joke of the Day

"Rick Astley will give you any of his pixar movies except one... His SAG preview copy of Inside Out. It would be unethical for him to share that copy while it's still in theaters."

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"what cross road chicken"
"Why are cars faster than motorcycles? Because motorcycles are two tired."
"Damn girl, is your dad an astronaut? Because I'd like to meet him. Please let me meet your astronaut dad."
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"In my opinion, reflex testing is pointless. I just don't find any value in knee jerk reactions."
"*cop pulls me over* Have you been drinking? No I- *water bottle now full of wine* *officer lowers shades. its Jesus* No one will believe you"