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Joke of the Day

"My daughter kept begging me to get her a new toy, so I went to a store and got a bunch of lego for her To this day, I am surprised that the store accepts kids as payment"

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"What do you call a boring dog? A dull-mation!"
"Can you ""pray away"" asparagus pee?"
"Is there a hole in your shoe? No?! Then how'd you get your foot in it?!"
"I recently switched over to cinnamon flavored toothpaste so when I do brush my teeth, I can't tell how much my gums are bleeding."
"Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only cums once a year"
"How do you start an Ethiopian rave? You tape bread to the ceiling."
"The best way to get a woman to argue with you is to say something"
"[NSFW] ""The Pope does anal now!"" ""Holy fucking shit, are you serious?!"""
"I don't know who won the debate tonight but I do know who lost... The American people :("