193047

Joke of the Day

"Me: ""You didn't tell me that."" Them: ""Yes I did, four times while you were staring at your phone."" Me (looks up): ""I'm sorry, what?"""

"Don't think I won't spin around and French kiss you if you're standing too close to me in line at the liquor store."

"What do we want? Time Travel! When do we want it? It's irrelevant!"

"Remember when you were small & all you wanted was a pony but your parents were high on meth & thought the house was already full of ponies?"

"Why do people in Afghanistan air dry after they shower? Because of the towel ban"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 needs a shit load of adapters to work"

"What do you call a Mexican who lost a car? Carlos"

"What do you call a bunch of wealthy muslims? Ballah ballah ballah ballah ballah"

"Nope. Not gonna follow anyone whose name is upside down. I got enough problems."

"When a woman says ""WHAT did you just say?"" say something different."