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Joke of the Day

"So Subway spokesperson Jared Fogle is being investigated for child pornography I guess he really did want to ""eat fresh"""

"Made this up two days ago: What did the French guy say when a bird pooped on him? I have Grey Poupon me"

"Why did the writer not like his friends book? It wasn't his type."

"[first date] HIM: Can I call you sometime? HER: [slowly slides napkin over phone] You can't... I lost my phone"

"If you walk a mile in my shoes, you'll end up at the bar..."

"Having an Internet girlfriend is easier than having a real girlfriend because I don't have to suck my gut in."

"They say there's such a thing as safety in numbers... Tell that to six million Jews."

"A. Schwarzenegger has it long, Brad Pitt short, Madonna does not have it and the Pope does not use it. What is it? A surname."

"*waters flowers* *flowers die* *sprays weeds with poison* *weeds mutate, quadruple in size, grow 3 heads, and start speaking in tongues*"

"A guy comes into a bar. No wait.. it was a horse. So, a guy comes into a horse..."