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Joke of the Day

"Just saw an old lady give up her seat to another old lady on the subway...polite or the ultimate shade?"

"A 'red list' of endangered species has been released. It includes 'literate people on Facebook' and 'monogamous footballers'."

"What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste!"

"So I bought some shoes from a drug dealer today. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"When they came out Fanny packs were the new hip thing."

"Why did the audience hate the pedophile guitarist? Because he broke a G string while fingering a minor"

"I secretly like days when none of my facebook friends have birthdays."

"If your girlfriend says she's going out to run some errands and comes back with 6 bags from the mall... You might be dating my wife."

"""WE WANT EQUAL RIGHTS! WE WANT EQUAL RIGHTS! ... HEY! YOU CAN'T HIT ME. I'M A GIRL!"""

"I'm No Gynaecologist... ...but I know a cunt when I see one."