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Joke of the Day

"If your girlfriend says she's going out to run some errands and comes back with 6 bags from the mall... You might be dating my wife."

"(NSFW) I made my girl so wet last night... ...that bitch is STILL crying..."

"Took my girlfriend to a baseball game this last season We made a deal in the beginning. I kiss her on every strike and she kisses me on the balls."

"I thought the author of Harry Potter was a guy. J.K."

"Since smart watches can now read your pulse, there should be a feature that erases your browser history if your heart stops beating..."

"What's the best way to dispose of a dead body? Was asking for a friend, but he was being a whiny shit about it, so now I'm asking for me."

"What do lonely terrorists have sex with? Blow-up dolls."

"So I got into a fight with a midget the other day... He was stood next to my girlfriend and said her hair smells nice."

"My math is never so quick or exact as when I see an old flame with a child."

"A feminist and a Muslim walk into a bar. - comedy removed due to complaints -"