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Joke of the Day

"Isn't Twitter basically all NSFW since we all tweet while we're at work & hit the 'Close Tab' button like a ninja when the boss walks by?"

"My cremated aunt used to give great advice. She always told me that you have to urn your place in life."

"Jared Fogle gets sentenced 15 1/2 years in prison At least he'll still be able to enjoy footlongs"

"I'm not racist. I just have a problem with people's tone."

"There are 10 types of people.... ....who understand binary: * The one who does * The one who doesn't"

"The reason that I'm not a superstitious person... ...I think that if you believe in superstition that it'll only bring you bad luck."

"Quick question: How many bowls of mac and cheese can you eat during a Skype job interview before you look unprofessional?"

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean Beef What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mother"

"The priest and the rabbi So, a priest and a rabbi are talking. The priest says:"" I recently fucked a little boy."" The rabbi responds:"" Out of what?"""

"What was Hitler's last two words? Oy Vey!"