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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping Tom? A pick pocket only snatches people's watches. Credit Sanford and Son Edit: Statches"

"Why are turn signals great workers? When they get tired and burn out, they work twice as hard."

"I went to the doctors today told him ""I've got a problem, every time I finish masturbating I sing the American national anthem"". The doctor said, ""Don't worry, a lot of wankers sing that""."

"My girlfriend was very proud of this one. What does cats and festival attendees have in common? They both love using the toilet right after it's been cleaned."

"Why did the chicken get a strike? Because it was a fowl."

"I would have been a gastroenterologist... But I didn't give a shit"

"A guy was honking at a car ahead of him to speed up at 6AM so I followed him bc his job must be amazing if he's that excited to get to work."

"What's the difference between a golf ball and a Ford? You can drive a golf ball 200 yards."

"How many people who subscribed to r/The_Donald does it take to screw in a light bulb? Obviously more than one because it's still dark in their mother's basement."

"What's annoying about going 90 in a school zone? The screaming speed bumps"