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Joke of the Day

"What did the gingerbread man say during sex? I'm gonna crumb!"

"How do you get a fat girl into your bed? Piece of cake..."

"My 4yo brought his Woody doll to the store and was swinging it around. I told him loudly to stop hitting people with his Woody. Parenting."

"I woke up and found Sarah Jessica Parkers head in my bed. I guess I pissed off the mafia."

"I always carry a jellyfish in case I need to pee on someone."

"Why do Hummingbirds hum Because they forgot the words!"

"As a child I remember lying in bed with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come. Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left."

"I had to fire my carpenter Turns out he was a mahoganist."

"How many ninjas does it take to... Where did that lightbulb come from?!"

"Comas can really change the meaning of a sentence... For instance: ""Ben is in a hurry."" ""Ben is in a coma."""