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Joke of the Day

"[hell] Me: Why am I here? Devil: You told people you'd say hi to other people 3,789 times but only did it 4 times. Me: OK that's fair."

"There's a new TV drama coming out starring Saddam Hussein it's going to be called ""Soap on a Rope"""

"Lol ""I'm not a pervert, I'm just a connoisseur of ass and titties."" My response after a female co-worker called me a pervert for commenting on a customer's ass as she walked past us."

"How do Asians see the world? In widescreen."

"What's a foot long, made of leather and sounds like a sneeze? A shoe."

"Sometimes I'm right. Other times my wife is close enough to hear what I'm saying."

"I lost my virginity to a retarded girl last night... I wanted my first time to be special."

"Why is one floor taller than the rest of the floors in the building? It's a long story."

"I wouldn't mind all the penis enlargement emails if they weren't coming from my wife."

"I met a woman with one leg today. Her name was Eileen."