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Joke of the Day

"Hey guys, we heard you guys were upset about losing a lot of subscribers on your YouTube channel. Nah, it's fine bros."

"In the future, Martian singers will have to drop their albums 62% earlier in order to account for reduced gravity on Mars."

"I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1."

"Free will is good, but free pizza is better."

"My buddy was dating twins... I asked him how he could tell them apart, and he replied, ""That's easy. Barbara has really big tits and Bob has a mustache."""

"What are jokes about janitors called? Sweeping generalizations."

"The Church of England rejected female bishops. How can women's rights expect to move forward if they're not even allowed to move diagonally?"

"I once farted in an elevator . . . it was wrong on so many levels."

"I like to move it move it You like to move it it"

"I lost my job at the hospital today for sexual assault.... It's not my fault that they put up a sign that said, 'stroke patients downstairs'."