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Joke of the Day

"Why do women shit?"

"If Twitter weren't for unconsidered blather, they wouldn't have named it after bird noises."

"Sometimes when I can't sleep I stare into the darkness and think how uncomfortable it must be to have balls between your legs."

"My girlfriend dreamt that I slept with her friend... So I tried to reassure her. I said, ""Baby. Please. That's crazy - I have never slept with your friend. Trust me, you've never even met the girl""."

"Why are there so many Chinese people? Because as soon as you fuck a Chinese girl, you're horny again half an hour later."

"An irishman walks out of a bar ."

"BREAKING NEWS: Adrian Peterson has been traded to the Minnesota Twins They needed a switch hitter"

"RaidTM: For when you don't want to kill ants, but want to make them late for something."

"My (black) coworkers informed me that black people can't get lice? ""You know what else they can't get? Good jobs."" I received a write-up :("

"-That toaster oven looks worn out. Why are you still using it? -Sentimental attachment. -It just caught fire. -Aww, just like old times."