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Joke of the Day

"*Busts through Kool-aid mans wall* Kool-aid man: Not cool. What I do is fake. This is our home Me: I'm sorr... *A sippy cup starts crying*"

"I wondered why the truck was getting larger... ... Then it hit me"

"How does a boat captain determine his profit? By using aquadratic equation. (Via my coworker)"

"""Quit mowing your lawn you heathen and go to church!"" -Me as I put in earplugs and go back to bed on a Sunday morning."

"How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? YOU WEREN'T THERE MAAAAN!!!"

"Curiosity got sent to mars as punishment. As punishment for killing Schrodinger's cat."

"Researchers in Canada have reported finding a superconductor that they say works at room temperature."

"So Rachel Dolezal becomes a Rapper... Her rap name: the notorius W.H.I.T.E"

"Tired of hearing the same song over and over again? Try being in marching band."

"Two men are on opposite sides of a river. The first man shouts to the second... ""How do i get to the other side of the river"" The second man shouts back : ""You are on the other side of the river."""