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Joke of the Day

"Doctor Doctor I can't get to sleep. Sit on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off."

"*watching an old Lassie show Me: How come you can't do those things? Dog (mutters): If we had a well I'd push you into it."

"Did you hear about the circus fire?.. People said it was intense.."

"Why don't taxi drivers talk to each other? They already know everything."

"Did you hear about corduroy pillow cases? They're making all the headlines! Never said it was a good joke..."

"I quit a job re-writing pre-classical Greek literature into braille. This was months ago. It feels like ancient history."

"You know that scene in 8 Mile where Eminem disses himself so the other guy has nothing to rap about? That's basically my only plan in life."

"I tried to teach my penis how to type... but he's just a hunt and pecker."

"Cat puns freak meowt"

"How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb? Who wants to know?"