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Joke of the Day

"At my mom's house. Just asked if we could record Dateline and she said she doesn't have a blank VHS tape and now my left arm is numb."

"Life is like a roller coaster: There are ups & downs, you often feel like vomiting, but in the end there are weird pictures of you for sale."

"What is another word for Pokemon? A Rastafarian Proctologist"

"My friend was trying to annoy me with bird puns Well, toucan play at that game"

"Why do they call it a pap smear? How many chicks do you know that would turn up for a cunt scrape?"

"Why did the black chicken cross the road? It was being chased by the kluck kluck klan"

"Kinda hypocritical of me to complain about people who send mixed signals seeing as the mat in front of my door says ""welcome""..."

"Hey are you a slinky? Because you're not very useful, but always bring a smile to my face when pushed down the stairs."

"Explaining a fountain to a 3rd world country must be weird. 'Yeah we just shoot clean water into the air and throw our extra money into it'."

"Where did Mary go after the explosion?? EVERYWHERE!"