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Joke of the Day

"At my mom's house. Just asked if we could record Dateline and she said she doesn't have a blank VHS tape and now my left arm is numb."

"Two condoms are walking down the street... ... and they pass a gay bar. The one condom turns to the other and says ""hey, wanna get shitfaced?"""

"I bet the skeletons, in my gay coworker's closet, are having a dress up party with fabulous clothes."

"So yet another snake walks into a bar... He asks the bartender, ""Gimme a shot of Jack!"" ""No sir."" ""Well why not?"" The snake said. ""You can't hold your liquor!"""

"What's at the beginning of the rainbow? Refraction of sunlight in raindrops"

"What did Jennifer Lawrence say to Julius Caesar? ...""May the Ides be ever in your favor."""

"I like the way your medication thinks."

"Never trust stairs, They're always up to something."

"Anything guitarists say while leaning back to back during a solo is protected by law like confession or attorney client privilege."

"What's the difference between a cup and a mug? being cupped is far more pleasurable than being mugged"