19253

Joke of the Day

"If you see a woman holding Fifty Shades of Grey, smile and say ""congratulations on your first book!"""

"HUMMING BEES Q: Why do bees hum? A: They don't know the words."

"There's no use crying over spilt milk. Particularly skimmed milk. Skimmed milk is watery enough without you sobbing into it."

"B-E-F-O-R-E not b4. We speak English not fuc?ing bingo."

"I don't like snakes, but ""Diarrhea on a Plane"" would be a lot scarier."

"If it wasn't for the random passerby with the horrific deformity, I wouldn't know nearly as much about what the top of my shoes looked like."

"What do you call a man from Portugal? A Portugoose. Because you cant have one gees."

"NOT all policemen are strippers."

"What do we want? A CURE FOR TOURETTES! When do we want it? CUNT!"

"What's black and eats pussy? Cervical cancer."