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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a man from Portugal? A Portugoose. Because you cant have one gees."

"Why did the vegetable thief get a lighter sentence? Because he admitted the crime was *parsley* his fault."

"Why was the horse happy to come home after being released from the hospital? Because of his stable condition."

"What did Sherwock say to Watsun while vacationing in Tokyo? Well done, old Jap."

"""Doc,"" I said, ""every time I fart the room fills with smoke and stinks of petrol. What's the matter with me?"" ""That's easy,"" he said. ""You're exhausted."""

"Who are all these people Twitter wants me to follow? Has the fail whale been stalking me. Help, stranger danger!"

"The doctor said I have Type A blood But it was a Type O"

"Girlfriend Detective Girlfriend: ""I'm sick of you pretending you're a detective. I think we should split up."" Me: ""Good idea. We can cover more ground that way."""

"Did you know light travels faster than sound? That's why some people appear bright (until you hear them talk)."

"How was copper wire invented? two Jews were fighting over a penny"