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Joke of the Day
"""Sorry my phone died"" -something I've said 5,326 times but it's never actually happened"
Next Joke
"[At the first thanksgiving] Pilgrims: Im thankful for the land you gave us Natives: we didnt give you land? Pilgrims: *winks at the camera*"
"What do hamburger workers say on Monday morning? Well it's back to the old grind!"
"How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. The hard part is getting them into the light bulb."
"A man who calls himself ""Dog the Bounty Hunter"" is currently hunting down a man named ""War Machine"". We all live inside a comic book now."
"Sooo much pressure as a woman to not have a mustache."
"Don't embarrass a guy by telling him his fly is open in public. Just be a man, walk over there, and slowly zip it up for him."
"At my funeral the priest will throw my corpse into the crowd and whoever catches it will be the next to die."
"My son and his friends are great ... They always spray the house with air freshener before I get home"
"Want to hear a pizza joke? It's pretty cheesy."