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Joke of the Day

"The worst thing about dating is bringing a nice guy home after dinner, only to find your husband home early from work."

"You might as well call me New Year's Resolution... Because no one's going to do me"

"You didn't comment on my selfie. WHO IS SHE"

"What does a philosopher put his/her food on? A contemplate"

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. He died."

"What did Rihanna say when asked why she was still with Chris Brown? She shrugged and said ""Beats me!"""

"A radio wave walks into a bar and asks for a pint. The barman says, ""here you go, but why the long phase?"""

"What's Pharma Bro's favorite musical? Rent."

"My wife has so many shoes the bedroom looks like the outside of a mosque."

"What is the volume of pizza? Pizza of course! If z = radius of the pizza and a = the height then * radius^2 * height = Pi * z * z * a = Pizza."