60389

Joke of the Day

"When someone picks up your call after 3 or 4 rings you should know they were seriously contemplating letting you go to voicemail"

"IF you're NOT Handsome enough........ http://imgur.com/364BbQf"

"Yo momma is so unfamiliar with the gym... ...she calls it James"

"Never go to target in a red shirt. I was holding my kid and someone asked for help. Like yea just let me finish stocking the toddlers first."

"Why do Scottish men have long skinny dicks? Because they're tight fisted wankers."

"How do you make an English Muffin blush? You nook at its crannies."

"What is the Difference Between Your Nearest Bus Station and a Crab With a Boob Job? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean."

"If they ever start charging for air... I'll buy a bag of chips, at least it will be a package deal."

"What do you call an unemployed Nazi? Laid-off Hitler!"

"Caesar: Veni, vidi, vici meaning I came, I saw, I conquered. Which is probably useful for explaining why the strip club down the street now has the motto: Veni, vidi, veni."