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Joke of the Day

"A Wife calls her son to see where him and his dad are He answers with moans in the backround, ""In my room?"" He says, the mom storms up there expecting porn, or sex. She got one of them right..."

"What did the train on the way to Auschwitz say? JEW JEW! TUGATUGATUGATUGA JEW JEW!"

"Q: Did you hear about the imaginary tree? A: It was mapleleaf."

"I wish I hadn't wasted so much of my life creating wacky sci-fi inventions... The time machine alone set me back 15 years."

"There's a theory that Princess Diana had dandruff. They found her head and shoulders in the dashboard."

"I'm sorry, I don't think I can do this *Pushes salad aside*"

"What's the worst thing about being a Jehovah's witness? Nobody asks, 'who's there?' when you try and tell a knock knock joke."

"Show her how romantic you are by sprinkling body parts in a trail leading to the bed."

"How do you make a Whiskey Sour? Crush it's hopes and dreams."

"What do you call a jerking off well-endowed midget? A huge short coming."