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Joke of the Day

"if u told me 20yrs ago that we'd have a black prez w/ the middle name Hussein, I'd have kept playing w/ my ninja turtles cuz I was 9 in 1993"

"How does Santa make new baby reindeer? In vitro, in Prancer, in Dancer, in Vixen."

"Woman from Q [NSFW] There was once a woman from Q. She filled her vagina with glue. she said with a grin, if you paid to get it in, you'll pay to get it out too."

"When I was in my twenties we didn't have hipsters we had AIDS, which was almost as bad."

"I heard the BEST joke the other day! It was about anti-climaxes."

"What makes a pun, fun? Add an h."

"Perplexed student Told him he looked about as confused as a blind lesbian in a tuna cannery."

"Before you assume that ghetto thugs are brainless, think about this: ""Yo, when you gonna let me tap that ass?"" is in iambic pentameter."

"Unscramble: pnise If you got spine, you are correct. The rest of you have been on twitter too long."

"What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car in front of an abortion clinic? Going in to ask for a coat hanger"