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Joke of the Day

"if u told me 20yrs ago that we'd have a black prez w/ the middle name Hussein, I'd have kept playing w/ my ninja turtles cuz I was 9 in 1993"

Next Joke
 
"I want to open a clock shop... The commercials will say: ""I sell some of the finest wrist timepieces around. Don't believe me? Just watch."""
"I promise to love you for better until things get worse."
"Would you blow him?"
"if you're happy and you know it... then the chemtrails are working Edit: credit to Welcome to Nightvale"
"It's not that the man did not know how to juggle... ...he just didn't have the balls to do it."
"What is a depressed German with Celiac disease unlikely to have tomorrow? A Gluten Morgan"
"A clown is walking through the woods with a kid The kid looks up at the clown, ""It's getting late, and I'm getting scared."" Clown says, ""YOU'RE scared? I have to walk out of here alone."""
"Why was 5 afraid of 6? Because 6 7 8! ...(in honor of May 4th Star Wars day)..."
"What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a drink? ""Olive or twist?"""