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Joke of the Day

"How do you know a cat is ready to leave? He makes a fe-line for the door."

"*whispers to an avocado* ""I'm the good kind of fat, too."""

"Why is there only 50 shades of grey? Why not 5,000? What's stopping them?"

"Jesus said that he'd get rid of evil people, whereas Norse gods said they'd get rid of frost giants. nnI don't see many frost giants around."

"Nature fact: The female cat gives birth to the body and head of her kittens separately and has to screw the head in like a lightbulb."

"I bet the LAPD gets a lot of calls about ""a lost, lonely-looking little girl"" that turn out to be David Spade walking home."

"Never look down on anyone. Unless you're a lion cub named Simba and you're being held over a crowd of animals by a weird monkey doctor."

"""Sorry I'm late! Was pointlessly checking the same 6 websites over & over again & lost track of time!"" - Honest Aziz Explaining Tardiness"

"Why did the soviet plane crash? It was stalin"

"If I had to lose any bodypart I'd lose my spine. It's really holding me back."