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Joke of the Day

"Women are like iPhones. You have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberries, rub one ball and everything moves."

"How long does it take to tune a double bass? Nobody knows."

"I found some good cookie recipes with weed the other day. Then I was like, ""That's a weird place to keep cookie recipes""."

"After 69 Q: What comes after 69? A: Mouthwash."

"4-year-old: Can we go get ice cream? Me: It's freezing outside. 4: I know. It won't melt."

"Joined Match.com... And all I got was a lit cigarette"

"Sorry I ate that banana so slowly at your grandpa's funeral."

"Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, you will pay. You have my Word."

"Your momma so fat... Yo momma is so fat when she is playing Pokemon go she can see all pokemons on her cell phone"

"I had sex with a Chinese girl. It was great... But I was horny again an hour later."